Who Stole Python?

Lyrics

[Intro]
Big confusion in the container zone
Something is missing, now the script feels alone

[Verse 1]
Why is Python two not here?
Yesterday it worked, now it disappeared
Brand new container, clean and neat
But my old script skipped a beat

[Pre-Chorus]
“It worked before, just yesterday!”
Yeah, floppy disks once worked that way

[Chorus]
Who stole Python?
Who stole Python?
Who stole Python?
Not a soul in this container line

Who stole Python?
Was it you or me?
No, it was end of life security

[Verse 2]
Vendors say it loud and clear:
Python two is done, not here
Not maintained, not kept alive
If you want it safe, you must revise

The user shouts: “This can’t be right!”
My script was old, but ran just fine
Security says, calm and dry:
Old code’s fun, but full of holes inside

[Pre-Chorus]
Fresh container, modern base
Old dependencies lost their place

[Chorus]
Who stole Python?
Who stole Python?
Who stole Python?
Not a thief in sight this time

Who stole Python?
DevOps? Fate?
No, it reached its final date

[Bridge]
Maybe Perl, maybe Ruby too
Maybe less is best to do
Smaller images, safer ground
Less attack surface all around

[Verse 3]
Back then nothing got updated
Now we patch before it’s hated
Containers clean and running tight
Even if old scripts start to cry

[Final Chorus]
Who stole Python?
Now we know the truth
It wasn’t stolen, just out of use

Who stole Python?
Don’t complain, be brave
Update code or let it rest in peace, old friend

[Outro]
No one stole Python, that’s a fact
It simply reached its final act
End of life, a quiet sign
Security says: “See you next runtime.”